You Can Write It Now

How Writing Groups Can Help Writers

As I wrote  in the post WHY GROUPS CAN HELP WRITERS (October 9, 2007), a writing group is an evolving and powerful organism.  There are many types of writing groups, of course, ranging from those where members read their work to each other for comment, to those where members gain the courage to start working in the first place,  to those joined because members are having difficulty carrying out and finishing what they started. I work primarily with the last two groups, which can overlap.  I should also add that I work primarily over the telephone on a bridgeline, so members can live literally anywhere . 

Writers in the groups I'm writing about tend to have two major problems:  with anxiety and/or  with time management--general organization.   The anxiety can stem from perfectionism or insecurities that have been reinforced by outside criticism.  Problematic time management and organizational practices can be part of one's personality or come from a lack of knowledge of possibly better ways of doing things.

So how can a group help with such personal issues?

Why Writing Groups Are Helpful For Writers

There is nothing like DOING, to learn. 

What I've learned from running writers' groups is how often the problems writers face don't come from lack of ability but from lack of support.  There are a few blessed souls out there who don't need external support and positive feedback to keep their confidence high, but for many, many people the lack of these two key factors can lead to crippling self-doubt.

A writing group takes time to develop, but it offers amazing benefits for those who stick out the formative stages.  Like any group, a writing group starts with separate individuals who come together hoping to gain something from each other.  They're all in the same boat, as the saying goes, and they hope that rowing together will pull them out of the doldrums and into the fast lane.

Of course, since they don't know each other, everyone tends to be tentative at first.  So it's the leader's job, in the beginning,  to help them feel more comfortable and identify the strengths they bring to the group--for themselves and each other.  There are a lot of different and enjoyable ways to do that, and  it's generally a great relief for group members to realize (and get the feedback that others realize) how many areas of significant strength they can draw on to reach their goals.

Much of the research in Positive Psychology shows that focusing on strengths rather than trying to remedy  weaknesses leads to better results when one is an adult.   This is a new concept for a lot of people.

The evolution of disparate individuals into a group is a fascinating process for the members as well as the leader.  The benefits that accrue from it are sometimes unexpected.  I'll describe this in more detail in another post.

A Book For Writers Who Want To Change the World

A book that I enjoyed recently is Mary Pipher's Writing to Change the World (2006).  Part of it is basic encouragement to start and continue writing and part is more focused discussion of different kinds of writing one can do in the service of positive change--e.g. personal essays, blogs, poetry and music.

Pipher's metaphors made me smile and want to keep reading.  Here's one example:

"A blank page can feel like cold water.  ...we have to dive in.  And when we do, it can be miserable until we warm up.  Then we relax and write without effort."

Here's a piece of advice which she quotes from Michael Crichton:  "Work inspires inspiration.  Keep working.  If you succeed, keep working.  If you fail, keep working. "

The Older Woman Writer

I think the older woman writer has a special role on this blog.  First of all, what do I mean by "older"? I'm thinking of the women I coach who are writing their dissertation in their fifties and beyond.  This reflects a changing demographic. 

A colleague and I started a Women Only group and attracted primarily these women.  Why?  They are all working in their fields, most holding down demanding jobs, very involved with their families...and trying desperately to finish their research, contact their committees, find time and a place to actually write. 

I think of one woman whose husband is incapacitated; she is the primary breadwinner. 

Another takes care of her grandchildren regularly so her daughter can work.

Another has an aging mother who has developed dementia and lives across the country from her.

Another had her child later in life and is trying to cope with his needs and share household responsibilities with her husband.

All work full time too. The list could go on.

One of the things I admire most about these women is their determination to get their degree.  They set goals and often can accomplish only a small part of them in the time they allot because, as the saying goes, "life intervenes."  But they reset the goals and keep moving forward.

What keeps them going?  Their connection to us and each other, for one thing.  They tell us how important the group is for their morale.  They are great sources of encouragement and real information for each other.  How do you deal with an advisor who doesn't seem interested?  How do you narrow your topic so it's manageable?  How do you find the time to do concrete work?  We tackle all these topics and more. 

I feel a special commitment to these women because of their tremendous spirit and willingness to try new strategies and most of all because of their determination.  The group allows them a place to feel unembarrassed by what they consider their chief failing:  they haven't finished yet and they are so old.

It's an especially wonderful moment of celebration when they are successful and get that degree.  That makes all the effort and time spent worthwhile for all of us.

Powerful Books About Writing, By Women Writers

The first book I ever read on women and writing was Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own.  I remember being very excited (this was back in the late 1950's) that someone had put into words the difficulties facing women who wanted to become writers.

My strong sense of constraint certainly came from the beliefs I was raised with about women.  The amazing thing to me was that Woolf had  published her book in 1929 and the ideas and feelings in it were still true for me.

The even more amazing thing is that, although women are major writers now, so very many of us still struggle with feelings of guilt over making time for our own work a priority.